Friday, January 19, 2007

The Ten Enviro Commandments

I. Thou Shalt Have No Other Goddess Before Thy Goddess Gaia
II. Thou Shalt Not Utter Heresy Against ManBearPig, If Anyone Speakest Heresy Against ManBearPig, Thou Shalt Shun Him
III. Six Days Shalt Thou Labor For The Democratic Party, But The Seventh Day Shalt Be Thy Day of Rest, And Thou Shalt Honor Thy Goddess Gaia
IV. Dishonor Thy Mother and Thy Father, For In Their Profligacy They Have Dissed Gaia
V. Thou Shalt Recycle, Even If Recycling Is Inefficient and Creates More Pollution Than Creating New Products, And Thou Shalt Be Smug in Thy Recycling
VI. Thou Shalt Buy Thee Hybrids And Thou Shalt Act Really Obnoxious Toward All Those Who Have No Hybrids
VII. Thou Shalt Tithe 40, 50 or 60% of Thine Income to Thy Government, Depending on Thy Bracket.
VIII. Thou Shalt Not Bathe
XI. Thou Shalt Support Gay Marriage, Tax Increases, Abortion, Gun Control, Redistribution of Wealth, Sex Education, No Strings Welfare, For These Art Pleasing to the Democratic Party, I mean, Thy Goddess Gaia
X. Thou Shalt Not Question Thy Democratic Leadership, For They Are Holy In The Sight of Gaia

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